Go to the park and eat sandwiches. Talk about good memories and future plans. Seems obvious you have to like who you marry, but many get carried away in the romance and whirlwind events of engagement and marriage and find out later they actually wouldn't pick their partner if hypothetically there was no attraction and they were choosing a friend.
So liking your partner as a person outside of attraction is a must. If you're able to drop stiff conventions and find a common denominator, you're in for the adventure of a lifetime. This means you have to find someone you love dearly before you marry them.
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When you're married the grass will start to look better on the other side, but then you need to love this woman you're married to. Don't keep things in, or hope your partner can figure out why you're unhappy. No one can read your mind, even the one who loves you the most. Don't call names, bring up old stuff or disparage your spouse.
When you get to the point that you feel like walking away and everyone does at one point or another , stop to remember at least three times your partner was the best thing in your life.
Let go of your ego. Relationships don't die.
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They're murdered by ego. Often we get caught up in placing blame and designating responsibility to only one person. However, when you are in a marriage, you have made a commitment to become 'one', and you are to tackle all issues as a unit. That's likely to really work for many years. So start each day thinking about what you can give that special person in your life.
Not just love, or romantic love, but the love where you genuinely respect your spouse and who they are as a person, their feelings, their achievements, and everything they bring to the relationship. Being excited for them when they get a raise or promotion or just for putting together a book shelf.
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These things help to bolster their self-esteem and their perceived worth in your eyes. It also helps to create that trust, the one where you feel safe and where you can just be yourself. Knowing that at the end of the day they look forward to coming home, instead of dreading it.
Both partners must need each other. If one needs and the other does not, the marriage won't be happy or long. Things were not always easy. I credit my mom for getting through difficult times of long separations, frequent moves as my dad got posted from place to place , bringing up two children mostly on her own, etc. Participants who had a happy partner at the beginning of the study were less likely to pass away over the next 8 years compared with participants who had less happy partners.
Most importantly, it has the potential to extend our understanding of what makes up individuals' 'social environment' by including the personality and well-being of individuals' close ones," says Stavrova. The opposite is also likely to be true, says Stavrova. They also completed a self-rated health measure and provided information related to their morbidity, gender, age at the beginning of the study, ethnicity, education, household income, and partner mortality. The findings suggest that greater partner life satisfaction at the beginning of the study was associated with lower participant mortality risk.
Specifically, the risk of mortality for participants with a happy spouse increased more slowly than mortality risk for participants with an unhappy spouse. This research demonstrates that partner life satisfaction may have important consequences for health and longevity. Although the participants in this study were American, Stavrova believes the results are likely to apply to couples outside of the United States, as well. Play Slideshow.
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